Cold
by waywardon
Summary: TRIGGER WARNING: This contains a suicide attempt, if this will upset you DO NOT READ IT. You've been warned. Based on the prompt: "Regina tries to kill herself and Emma saves her. Or doesn't, it's up to you." Kinda Swan Queen, I guess. I mean, I want it to be.
1. Chapter 1

_**If it seems poorly written I had trouble seeing Regina ever just giving up although it certainly seems like what most people would do if they had been dealt her hand. I just can't see her deciding to kick the bucket. And I'm madly in love with Regina, sooo…**_

It hadn't been at all difficult to get her hands on the poison. Money could get you anything in any world, it seemed. It would, supposedly, look like a natural death of some sort. Regina didn't really care. Not quite as dignified a way to die as she probably would have liked, but it was a way out.

Regina had slipped it into her apple cider, something she had often and would easily be overlooked should anybody suspect anything. Nobody would care, anyway. If she was going to be honest, she expected everybody to celebrate.

It was nice and cold on the tiled floor of her bathroom although one thigh was warm and wet with blood. The glass had fallen from her hand and when she crumpled to the floor, unable to steady herself any longer, she had managed to get some of the shards stuck in her leg.

Her arms and legs thrashed about on their own accord, Regina having no say in the matter as she welcomed the pain of the fire making its way through her veins. It hurt much more than she'd expected. Nothing she couldn't deal with, but still.

Daniel was gone, her father was gone, her happiness was tied to a boy who honestly believed she was the Evil Queen although she tried her best to show him just how much she loved him. Henry hadn't ever even seen her as Queen Regina instead of Mayor Mills. She'd cursed a whole world and it was beginning to unravel. This would come sooner than later and she would much rather die by her own hand than another's.

She was aware, in the back of her mind, of the front door being closed loudly. She heard her name being called but was more focused on scrambling away from the door. Everything was beginning to blur and sweat beaded on her forehead.

"Regina?" The voice was, sadly, Emma Swan's. Regina would have let loose a stream of curses but she really didn't think she could speak. She had nothing to say, anyway. "What the hell happened?"

All Regina could do was shake her head as her limbs began thrashing again and she was glad when her foot connected with Emma's leg. "Go away." She panted, biting down on the inside of her cheek.

Emma had her phone out now and was making a frantic call. The mayor had stopped flailing about like a fish out of water and was now sprawled out on the tile, panting for breath as it became progressively harder and harder.

"Regina, what the hell did you do?" The Sheriff asked, making Regina want to roll her eyes at the stupidity. She felt the glass being pulled from her leg and she had to struggle not to try kicking Emma away. She didn't have the strength to, anyway, but it would have been worth a try.

"I don't… I can't come over to see you just laying there, still and cold, okay?" She snapped at the brunette who was lying limp but glaring at Emma the best she could. "I swear, when you get better I may just beat you myself." She muttered.

Regina had to struggle to stay awake now, focusing on Emma's face to help her. She didn't want Regina gone? But it would be so easy. She had every right to. Sirens wailed outside and she frowned up at Emma.

The fact that somebody was saving her only made her want to die worse. The kindness was not something she deserved.

She didn't deserve it or want it.


	2. Chapter 2

_**You guys wanted it, so here it is. Sorry it's so short.**_

Regina sat up abruptly in her bed breathing hard as though she had been running like her life depended on it. Well, given recent circumstances, that wasn't saying too much. More like running like Henry's life depended on it. Somebody she actually cared about. Emma's, maybe? She shook her head to try and clear it, to try and rid it of the images her mind had produced or recalled while she was asleep. The nightmares were driving her crazy. Her father's death by her own hand, Daniel's death, so many memories of the horrible things she had done to people and images of even worse things they would do in retaliation to her.

"Regina?" Came a sleepy voice from the chair by the window. Sitting in the moonlight was Emma Swan, who had taken it upon herself to make sure Regina was okay her first night back home. The Sheriff sounded tired, probably because it was 3 AM, according to the clock on the bedside table. She stood up and moved to sit on the edge of the bed and watch the mayor curiously. "What's wrong?"

Regina shook her head and wrapped her arms around her torso like she was trying to hug herself. Emma's heart ached at the sight, her eyes focused on the broken woman before her. "Nightmares." The brunette answered honestly, not seeing how lying could gain her anything or how the truth could cost her anything. It was a bit too obvious. She jerked away from Emma when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

The ever persistant Sheriff moved closer and pried Regina's arms away so she could wrap her own around the other woman. "It's okay." She murmured gently. "I've got you." She said softly, as soothingly as she could.

Regina's body tensed as she slowly lay back down, Emma moving with her. "Miss. Swan, you can let go now." She said after a moment. In all honesty, she didn't want Emma to let go. Just having somebody close was comforting.

"Regina, I think the formalities were over when I found you on the bathroom floor." Emma's voice was soft, coming after a few moments of an awkward silence. The blonde's arms tightened around Regina at the memory and she burried her face in the mayor's neck to try and escape the images that came to mind.

Regina turned around in her arms, so they were now facing each other. Her brown eyes searched the green ones that stared back at her, trying to detirmine if it was a cruel joke or if she genuienly did care. Deciding to take the risk, she slowly closed the distance so their lips were touching. Much to her surprise, Emma was soon kissing back once she got over the shock herself.

"Don't let go." Regina murmured against the other woman's lips.

"Never." Came the whispered answer as they met for another kiss.


End file.
